You may have already heard about Sylvester Stallone’s new film, The Expendables, but in case you haven’t, I will tell you. Presumably, Stallone had the idea for this film because no one else will hire him so if he wants to work he has to come up with a film for himself, and this was the only thing goofy enough for him to actually pull off. In the process, somehow he has assembled an awesome cast, awesome enough that this movie might actually rock. If you can see the plot for what it is, tongue in cheek whether Stallone means it or not, it could be brilliant.
The film is about a group of mercenaries who travel to South America to overthrow a dictator. Okay, sort of lame. But here assembled is one of the greatest action casts on film to date. I am dying to see a trailer, just to get a taste of what all of these gloriously cheesy actors will look like on screen together. I am about to camp out in my local movie theater until one is released - which may be a while since the film isn’t even slated to open until April 23, 2010.
So, keep in mind, the plot is just a flimsy, action-packed, and humorous way to get some of our favorite action stars together, and the results should be amazing, if not, hilarious. Ready? The cast is, so far: Sly Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenneger, Steve Austin, and Mickey Rourke. Ridiculousness aside, the movie also stars Eric Roberts and Brittany Murphy. Wait. Put her back in the ridiculousness.
August 21st, 2009 by Courtney Iseman | Posted in Movie News | Comments (1)
On October 23, movie theaters will see the release of Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant, starring John C. Reilly, Willem Dafoe, Salma Hayek, and a bunch of other random people. Another vampire movie. We can’t have enough.
Robert Redford will direct The Conspirators, a film on the assassination of Lincoln, focusing on the story of Mary Surratt and her role in the goings on. James McAvoy is rumored to star. This film has my blessing.
Speaking of the cute blue-eyed Scot, McAvoy will also (definitely) star in the upcoming untitled comedy about cancer, based on the true story of screenwriter Will Reiser, who battles (successfully) cancer in his mid-twenties. Seth Rogen will produce and have a role, as well, since he seems to love acting in movies about cancer now.
The legend of the Fockers lives on. If you thought we were done with their marriage, you would be wrong. July 30, 2010 will see the premier of Little Fockers, starring our regular cast of Robert DeNiro, Blythe Danner, Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, and Teri Polo. It will, presumably, focus on the kids.
This is weird…Little Murder is in the works. It’s the story of a “disgraced detective” in the wake of Hurrican Katrina who is then haunted by the ghost of a beautiful cellist as she helps him find her killer, saving his career. It stars Josh Lucas, Terrence Howard, and Lake Bell, and it sounds dumb.
Speaking of dumb and weird, Matt Damon and Emily Blunt will star in the sci-fi thriller, Adjustment Bureau, about a politician who is sabotaged by a mysterious ballerina. What? Just, what?
August 18th, 2009 by Courtney Iseman | Posted in Movie News | Comments (0)
It was just a matter of time before we got a movie less than discreetly depicting today’s economic situation and how it affects, specifically here, the college graduate. Gone are the days of graduating from college and moving on to your own place. Competing with laid off experienced executives for a vastly reduced number of jobs, college grads are left with no choice but to return home until a prospect comes along. After four years of freedom, it’s back to Mom, Dad, and maybe even a curfew.
Movies are supposed to be able to simultaneously provide an escape from our mundane problems as such and show these very problems, albeit involving prettier people, so we can relate. Friday, August 21, recent grads will relate to Alexis Bledel in Post Grad, when the considerably under-promoted comedy hits movie theaters. The trailer makes it look like a sweet, hokey little film, one that they’ll replay on ABC Family for years to come. But reviews from insiders who have seen the film imply the film is more, and is delightfully quirky and offbeat. It’s only fitting, since in order for a film on this topic to be successful, it must be funny enough to cheer us comiserators up, while honest and dark enough to be realistic and convince us Alexis, well, Ryden, is actually going through this. So, maybe this film will accomplish the feat of accurately portraying the nerves of interviews, the despair and frustration of seemingly endless unemployment, and the anxiety of moving back home, all why allowing us to see the humor in it all.
The film also stars Michael Keaton and Carol Burnett - haven’t seem them in a while. Burnett especially should be a treat. So, let’s be surprised together and let this film show us it’s not the fluff from the trailers!
August 17th, 2009 by Courtney Iseman | Posted in Movie News | Comments (0)
Disney just secured the rights to produce a film adaptation of The Diary of Anne Frank, to be written (and also produced) by David Mamet. The film will combine aspects of the diary itself, the play written on the diary, and Mamet’s own take. This really doesn’t need to be done again, but it may have potential. We can trust Mamet.
Universal Pictures is actually developing a star vehicle for Jonah Hill. Oh. Okay, Universal, I guess you know better than me. Or not. The Best Thing About Pam Rooney is said to be a “high-concept romantic comedy.” Whatever that means.
Director Matthew Vaughn financed a film adaptation of Kick-Ass, a comic book about a teen boy who suddenly becomes a superhero - it’s so original, it’s blinding. Anyway, he debuted some clips at Comic Con, and now three studios are interested, and three big ones: Lionsgate, Paramount, and Universal. So, he must have done something right.
Speaking of Lionsgate, they will be giving us Josh Friedlander’s new comedy, One Night Stan, to be directed by Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg, of Harold and Kumar fame. It’s the story of Stan, who finds out his fiancee has had more partners than he has, so she gives him one night to “catch up.” As is to be expected, nothing goes according to plan and madness certainly ensues. This needs careful casting to be remotely humorous. I predict a trailer that shows the entire movie, so no need to spend dough on movie tickets.
So, apparently The Hangover duped people into thinking that Ed Helms is a star, or capable of carrying a movie on his own. Central Intelligence is Universal’s star vehicle for Helms, the story of a regular Joe Schmo accountant who gets tangled up in espionage in the like through getting back in touch with a friend on Facebook. What kind of world do we live in where Facebook plays such a huge role in our movie plots? The kind where Jonah Hill and Ed Helms are our movie stars.
August 12th, 2009 by Courtney Iseman | Posted in Movie News | Comments (0)
A scene that would never actually happen in high school, but it does in "Fame."
We’ve reached the final Friday in our schedule of new movie releases! September 25th, the official wind-down of the summer movie wind-down, is less exciting than the Friday before it.
Coco Before Chanel is the rags-to-riches story of Coco Chanel, how she came from nothing as an orphan to being the definitive name in couture. Since the movie is French, it stars Audrey Tautou. But that’s okay, she’s pretty fabulous. This one, presumably not to many movie goers’ taste anyway, has a limited release and will only be in selected movie theaters. So check out your local movie theater schedule if this is up your alley.
Another foreign film with a limited release, The Damned United is the true story, the “darkly humorous” story of Brian Clough’s short run as manager of English football champs, Leeds United. I imagine in most cases, you could only force yourself to care about this if you were in fact English.
The re-make of Fame opens on this said Friday the 25th, too. That is, the Disney-meets-Nickelodeon treatment of the original classic. First of all, there was no reason for this film to be touched again, it was just that: a classic. And now they’ve gone and ruined it with all their “today’s teen” re-interpretations. Unnecessary. So unnecessary.
The Invention of Lying, which we’ve discussed, also opens this day. Starring Ricky Gervais, Jennifer Garner, Rob Lowe, Jonah Hill, Lous C.K., Tina Fey, Christopher Guest, Jeffrey Tambor, Patrick Stewart, and Jason Bateman, this movie-with-a-cast-of-gold tells the story of a world without lies, until Gervais’ character discovers fiction and capitalizes on it. The story doesn’t even need to be that great, that cast will sell movie tickets on its own, I suspect.
Because the world cannot have enough sci-fi, futuristic thrillers based on a nearly apocalyptic, robotic world, Surrogates will fill that void for us. Starring who other than Bruce Willis, it takes place in a world where humans don’t actually ever leave the safety of their own homes, and instead operate perfect robotic surrogates out in the real world. They get to feel and experience everything the surrogate does. I think this just sounds like the dream world of the morbidly obese.
August 11th, 2009 by Courtney Iseman | Posted in Movie News | Comments (0)
The third Friday of September, the 18th, is one of the most densely packed for movie releases, so there’s a good chance your local movie theater will be pretty crowded that day.
The first is a star packed action flick, Armored. A team of employees for an armored guard company decided to pull a heist on their own company. Sounds generic, but might be saved by the cast of Skeet Ulrich, Matt Dillon, Colombus Short, Laurence Fishburne, Jean Reno (guarantees some credibility), Fred Ward, Milo Ventimiglia, and Andrew Fiscella.
On a total opposite turn, the more romantic types can indulge in a period piece: Bright Star. It’s the story of the love affair between poet John Keats and villager Fanny Brawne, played by Bill Whishaw and Abbie Cornish. As in any love story that takes place in London in the 1800’s, the relationship is constantly sabotaged by illness, disapproving family members, class standards, and the works. Sure to be tragic, might have been decent and poignant if not for the casting of Abbie Cornish in the lead.
Guillermo Arriaga, writer of Babel, brings us The Burning Plain, a similar type of film starring Charlize Theron and Kim Basinger, in which several stories weave in and out of each other. The ultimate result seems it will be a haunting, pretty, and painful portrait of love, tragedy, and humanity, as the characters grapple with change, loss, and repressed love.
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs is one for the whole family, a cute adaptation of the beloved book about a town fed by whatever falls from the sky. The voices are offered by a great comedic cast including Bill Hader, Anna Faris, James Caan, Andy Samberg, Bruce Campbell, Tracy Morgan, and, yes, Mr. T.
The Informant! sounds like a darkly funny take on the true story of Mark Whitacre, played by Matt Damon, the whistleblower of Archer Daniels Midland. Travel through the ins and outs, truths and lies of the case that frustrated the FBI as Whitacre reveals both realities and cover-ups of his own misdeeds.
This Friday happens to be the opening day for the much buzzed-about Jennifer’s Body, the Diablo Cody-penned tale of a cheerleader possessed by demons. Just another day in high school. Starring Megan Fox and the usually adorable Amanda Seyfried, this looks like a big old hot mess of filmmaking, one that misses both the horror and comedy marks by trying to be spoofy and campy, and prdictably failing miserably.
Love Happens is a boring, trite, tired, isn’t-even-pretending-to-look-like-it’s-trying rom-com starring Aaron Eckhart as a widower-turned-motivational-speaker and star author, and Jennifer Aniston as the same exact character she plays in every single movie. Take a chance on love, Jen! And please, let it take you somewhere far, far, far away, away from movies forever.
In Pandorum, Dennis Quaid and Ben Foster star as crew members on a spacecraft who fall asleep and then wake up with no working equipment or memories of what they’re supposed to be doing. Um, sounds like a case of stoner hangover, but whatever. They are then attacked by tribal alien warriors, as audience members everywhere leave the theater.
August 10th, 2009 by Courtney Iseman | Posted in Movie News | Comments (0)
The second Friday of September sees a few noteworthy movie releases hitting movie theaters. First up is The Other Man, starring Liam Neeson and Antonio Banderas - where the hell has he been? The poor man has finally been freed from Melanie Griffith’s lips, so let’s hope this is a good comeback movie (since the Nasonex bee can’t be his proudest work). Unfortunately, the movie’s got one huge problem stacked against it: it’s basically Unfaithful, except it seems to focus more on the two men involved rather than the woman. I mean, the woman’s played by Laura Linney, they must not want you to concentrate too hard on the female lead or they would have cast someone with a pulse. Well, Neeson’s reputation may mean the film has something we’re missing from descriptions and trailers, so we’ll give it a shot before we decide to trash it.
FINALLY the long awaited big screen debut of acting legend Audrina Patridge! All kidding aside, Audrina was perfectly cast in Sorority Row, a horror movie about a murder of one of the sisters. I can’t think of anyone that plays dead more naturally. Her only competition in effortlessly letting her eyes roll back in her head is fellow cast member, Rumer Willis. Are they serious with this cast? No, really, are they? There’s no one to carry this film, and the only way it will be half decent is if everyone dies in the first scene. Fingers crossed. (Ten bucks says the killer’s Lauren Conrad.)
My first reaction when I saw the trailer for Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself was of course. I thought it had been like five minutes since Perry dropped another one off of the assembly line. I can’t imagine that all of his movies are original, unique compelling stories, since he jots them down over breakfast every morning and drops them off on set. But, no lie, this one looks half decent. Perry’s old standard character, Madea, catches her teenage grandkids looting her house (their grandma? that’s messed up!) and sends them off to live with Taraji P. Henson. Well, Aunt April, played by Henson. Aunt April ain’t so great herself, she’s a heavy drinking jazz singer with a married boyfriend. But the kids and her new basement tenant, Sandino, start to make her change her ways. Okay, I know this sounds really boring, but I saw the trailer and it looks pretty inspirational and all that good stuff. Even Mary J. Blige is in it.
There’s this movie called Walt & El Grupo coming out September 11, and I just tried to read the description three times but my eyes kept glazing over, so I’m just going to borrow some of it from www.ropeofsilicon.com: Walt & El Grupo chronicles the amazing ten-week trip that Walt Disney and his hand-picked group of artists and filmmaking talent (later known as “El Grupo”) took to South America in 1941 at the behest of the U.S. Government as part of the Good Neighbor Policy. Within just three short years after the phenomenal success of “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
,” the Walt Disney Studios experienced a chain of financial challenges that ultimately led to the infamous animators strike. Also during this time, the Roosevelt administration had growing concerns about Nazi and Fascist influence in Latin America, and the rest of the world was slipping further into war. In stark contrast to these trying times, Disney and his colorful group of artists found themselves on a lively trip full of hope and discovery as they explored various South American cities, spending the majority of their time in the countries of Argentina, Brazil and Chile.” I mean, I could see catching this on the History Channel or something, but actually traveling to a movie theater and spending money on movie tickets? Dear Lord.
Whiteout: Um…I mean, this sounds stupid and everything, but it’s a thriller with a bit of a unique twist: it focuses on the first murder investigation of Antarctica, and the events that follow (that sounded like it’s a true story - it’s not). What with the whiteout conditions, as titled, it could be fairly creepy. Kate Beckingsale stars.
August 6th, 2009 by Courtney Iseman | Posted in Movie News | Comments (0)
You don’t have to wait long after September’s first batch of movie releases on the 4th, since Cold Souls will debut in a rare Monday release September 7th. If you don’t follow film pretty closely, there’s a good chance you haven’t heard of this under-buzzed film, since the trailer isn’t blasted around computers, TV, and movie theater previews. It’s a surrealist “tragicomedy,” a la Being John Malkovich - remember how innovative that was when it premiered? Here, Paul Giammatti actually plays himself, and we catch him dwelling on Uncle Vanya, his next project. He just can’t seem to play the role without breaking down, so he finds a company that stores your soul (sounds like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind), and decides to rid himself of his soul and therefore emotion until his play run is over. However, in the mean time, his soul is stolen in a soul trafficking ring, and he must follow it to Russia to get it back. He learns that happiness isn’t the absence of suffering the ability to feel pain and then joy. It sounds like a good think piece, chock full of deadpan humor, philosophical musings, and statements about technology taking over personal life.
Only two days later, Tim Burton’s buzzworthy film, 9 debuts on Wednesday, September 7th. September seems to be a good month for more experimental art pieces, maybe because it still holds the wide audience potential of summer but the elbow room that autumn and winter hold to be not so mainstream. In this CGI animated flick, we follow the story of 9 (voice by Elijah Wood) and the 8 other before him (voices by the likes of Jennifer Connelly, Crispin Glover, Martin Landau, Christopher Plummer, and John C. Reilly) as they find themselves in a post-apocalyptic world and have to fight the machines that have taken over. The film looks very futuristic, creepy, haunting, and definitely a must-see.
August 4th, 2009 by Courtney Iseman | Posted in Movie News | Comments (0)
September is the last dash month for the movie release fest that is summer. For the week around labor day, a lot of kids are still home from school. The weather’s still warm, and the summer mood hasn’t been completely washed away yet. So, the month offers one last, albeit quickly closing window, for movies to hit theaters.
Friday, September 4th:
All About Steve - Sandra Bullock plays an eccentric - well, wacky - crossword puzzle creator who falls in love (she’s sure of it) with cameraman Steve, played by Bradley Cooper. Ill-advised, she follows him across the country and meets a lot of real characters along the way, the film seemingly more about her journey than her love story, or lack thereof. The preview made this look pretty awful.
Black Dynamite - This is another one of those stupid, corny parodies of the Shaft and Foxy Brown-esque movies of the 1970’s, referred to as “campy.” The only recognizable name is Arsenio Hall, who I didn’t even know was still alive. Pass.
Carriers - I was about to start summarizing this for you, but I just couldn’t let the synopsis I read on www.themovieinsider.com. It’s too good. If good is bad. Really bad: “Four kids are driving through the desert on the way to the beach, their faces anything but cheery: this isnt Spring Break. Theyre trying to outrun the end of the world and each other. In Álex and David Pastors CARRIERS, no one is safe from the viral pandemic threatening to wipe out the human race. Determined to elude the deadly virus, Danny (LOU TAYLOR PUCCI), his brother Brian (CHRIS PINE), his girlfriend Bobby (PIPER PERABO) and Dannys school friend Kate (EMILY VANCAMP) speed across the Southwestern U.S. to reach a place of possible safety. Over the course of four days, the group is faced with moral decisions that no human should ever be forced to face. They discover that their greatest enemy is not the microbe attacking humanity, but the darkness within themselves.” I love “This isn’t Spring Break.” In the preview you know the voice over guy says that line in a deep, menacing voice. Double Pass.
Extract: Finally, a good one! Starring Jason Bateman, Mila Kunis, Kristen Wiig, and Ben Affleck, the film is a quirky black comedy about the owner of a flower extract factory (Bateman), trying to keep his sort of ridiculous workforce in line while holding onto a marriage so bad it’s funny in a sad sort of way - the wife (Wiig) has an affair with a gigolo while he pines after the new factory worker (Kunis). From the preview, this movie looks weird, strange, odd…all those adjectives. But genuinely funny.
Gamer - This movie looks stupid but if you’re a female you’ll go see it because Gerard Butler stars and looks like he’s back to 300-like proportions. It takes place in the future, when there’s a “video game” that actually has players control real people. So there are real people fighting this ongoing battle against each other to kill everyone, but they’re being operated by gamers. Butler plays the top character in the game who starts to fight for his freedom and individuality. Eh. I saw Minority Report. Same diff.
No Impact Man - This is a documentary about a Manhattan family who tries to live with absolutely no impact on the environment and ninsgadjooandsssgjoaqkowkock&$(#*(JGIJ)(Ep - oops, sorry, I fell asleep on the keyboard. Triple Pass.
July 30th, 2009 by Courtney Iseman | Posted in Movie News | Comments (0)
If you were lucky enough to catch any of HBO’s stateside import from the UK, Extras, then you’ll be excited to learn September 25, 2009’s The Invention of Lying is both directed by and starred in by Ricky Gervais. If you’ve never seen Extras, then get excited anyway to meet a fresh, unique sort of comedy. The Brit is more of a real, honest person than the lewd, crude comedians that have become the norm over here. And he has a real talent for making good TV and good film.
The film is a cute enough idea, albeit one that will probably shot to pieces by reviews. It’s the story of an alternative earth where the lie does not exist, no one even knows to lie - until a performer, Gervais, discovers its meaning and its power. He finds out the profits able to be gained from telling lies. See, he works in the film industry, and before the lie is born, “actors” just re-tell history. So, when we meet him, he is trying to get through the Black Death with his actors. But the birth of the lie introduces the birth of the story and of fiction, so now he can really run with his film plots. However, he knows this phenomenon would just bewilder people and cause a scandal, so he pretends these are all just lost stories he’s found - ah, a lie about a lie.
Perhaps most exciting, though, is the cast - an assembly of great comedic actors. Well, first there’s Jennifer Garner - great, but we wouldn’t call her comedic. Then we start with Jonah Hill, Christopher Guest, Louis C.K., Jeffrey Tambor, Tina Fey, Rob Lowe, and Stephen Merchant, plus Patrick Stewart and Jason Bateman. Maybe the critics can pan the plot but this cast has got to amount to something great.
Again, the movie’s out in September so not too long before you can pick up movie tickets. Check out the preview online, a bunch of websites like IMDB have it.
July 29th, 2009 by Courtney Iseman | Posted in Movie News | Comments (0)
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