Out This Friday…

Heading to the movie theaters this Friday? Here’s what’s new:

Halloween II: isn’t it somewhat more…appropriate to debut this a little bit closer to its namesake holiday? I mean, that wouldn’t make it not suck, but at least people would be more in the mood to spend twelve bucks on movie tickets to sit through a weak story line, painfully fake gore, and tired, no, exhausted lines and characters. In this beating of a dead horse, Michael Moore…comes back…for, well, more.

The Final Destination: It’s THE final destination. Promise, guys? Promise after this one, you won’t make any more of these? All the destinations will have been covered? If you promise, then I will allow this 3-D monstrosity to exist. For, like, two weeks.

Taking Woodstock: Ang Lee’s much buzzed about film starring Demetri Martin finally opens, right around Woodstock’s fortieth anniversary. Watch the story of the most famous music festival come alive with brilliant character actors like Emile Hirsch, Eugene Levy, and Liev Schreiber.

Here a few creepers, or movies that have not been promoted at all. I promise you haven’t seen a trailer for more than one of these, and they may not all be opening at every theater:

Big Fan: Patton Oswalt, a football fanatic, meets his idol and it takes an “unexpected turn.” I can’t imagine why this, a star vehicle for Patton Oswalt, was under-promoted.

In another shocker of under-promotion: The Open Road, where son, Justin Timberlake, tries to bring home his father, a former famous athlete, played by Jeff Bridges. Where do they come up with these movies? Where do they come up with people who want to pay to make these movies?

Play the Game: Some guy played by Paul Campbell teaches his grandfather, played by Andy Griffith, dating tricks. In a shocking twist of cinematic irony, Grandpa ends up teaching ol’ sonny boy some tricks of his own. You do understand writing about these movies is killing me, right?

The September Issue: the long-awaited, actually heavily promoted documentary by R.J. Cutler finally hits theaters. Anyone who gives a damn about fashion will crowd movie theaters to see the Madam herself, Anna Wintour, behind the scenes.

August 24th, 2009 by Courtney Iseman | Posted in Uncategorized | (3)