New Movies in September Part One

September is the last dash month for the movie release fest that is summer. For the week around labor day, a lot of kids are still home from school. The weather’s still warm, and the summer mood hasn’t been completely washed away yet. So, the month offers one last, albeit quickly closing window, for movies to hit theaters.

Friday, September 4th:

All About Steve - Sandra Bullock plays an eccentric - well, wacky - crossword puzzle creator who falls in love (she’s sure of it) with cameraman Steve, played by Bradley Cooper. Ill-advised, she follows him across the country and meets a lot of real characters along the way, the film seemingly more about her journey than her love story, or lack thereof. The preview made this look pretty awful.

Black Dynamite - This is another one of those stupid, corny parodies of the Shaft and Foxy Brown-esque movies of the 1970’s, referred to as “campy.” The only recognizable name is Arsenio Hall, who I didn’t even know was still alive. Pass.

Carriers - I was about to start summarizing this for you, but I just couldn’t let the synopsis I read on www.themovieinsider.com. It’s too good. If good is bad. Really bad: “Four kids are driving through the desert on the way to the beach, their faces anything but cheery: this isnt Spring Break. Theyre trying to outrun the end of the world and each other. In Álex and David Pastors CARRIERS, no one is safe from the viral pandemic threatening to wipe out the human race. Determined to elude the deadly virus, Danny (LOU TAYLOR PUCCI), his brother Brian (CHRIS PINE), his girlfriend Bobby (PIPER PERABO) and Dannys school friend Kate (EMILY VANCAMP) speed across the Southwestern U.S. to reach a place of possible safety. Over the course of four days, the group is faced with moral decisions that no human should ever be forced to face. They discover that their greatest enemy is not the microbe attacking humanity, but the darkness within themselves.” I love “This isn’t Spring Break.” In the preview you know the voice over guy says that line in a deep, menacing voice.  Double Pass.

Extract: Finally, a good one! Starring Jason Bateman, Mila Kunis, Kristen Wiig, and Ben Affleck, the film is a quirky black comedy about the owner of a flower extract factory (Bateman), trying to keep his sort of ridiculous workforce in line while holding onto a marriage so bad it’s funny in a sad sort of way - the wife (Wiig) has an affair with a gigolo while he pines after the new factory worker (Kunis). From the preview, this movie looks weird, strange, odd…all those adjectives. But genuinely funny.

Gamer - This movie looks stupid but if you’re a female you’ll go see it because Gerard Butler stars and looks like he’s back to 300-like proportions. It takes place in the future, when there’s a “video game” that actually has players control real people. So there are real people fighting this ongoing battle against each other to kill everyone, but they’re being operated by gamers. Butler plays the top character in the game who starts to fight for his freedom and individuality. Eh. I saw Minority Report. Same diff.

No Impact Man - This is a documentary about a Manhattan family who tries to live with absolutely no impact on the environment and ninsgadjooandsssgjoaqkowkock&$(#*(JGIJ)(Ep - oops, sorry, I fell asleep on the keyboard. Triple Pass.

July 30th, 2009 by Courtney Iseman | Posted in Movie News | (0)